Ep 1: Listen to your Kid! | Words that Last a Lifetime | Nouman Ali Khan (إِذْ قَالَ يُوسُفُ لِأَبِيهِ) (QS Yusuf: 4) (يَـٰٓأَبَتِ إِنِّى رَأَيْتُ أَحَدَ عَشَرَ كَوْكَبًۭا وَٱلشَّمْسَ وَٱلْقَمَرَ) He (Yusuf) comes to his father and he tells him that, “My beloved father, there isn’t any doubt, I saw eleven stars and the sun and the moon.
” So he repeats “I saw” twice. It happened in the beginning of the ayah. (إِنِّى رَأَيْتُ) As a matter of fact, (أنا) is twice, for those of you who know Arabic. “I, I saw them for sure.
” And then by the time he says eleven stars, the sun and the moon, he starts all over again and says, “I saw them,” one more time, before he completes a statement, (لِى سَـٰجِدِينَ). One of the things it can suggest is a child, when they’re sharing something, sometimes they’re nervous.
And when they’re nervous, they repeat themselves. Your child comes up to you, something happened at school or something happen in the playground and you said, “What happened?” And she said, “I was playing, I was playing, I was playing.
..” “Aha, and then what happened?” “And I was playing, and then, and then…” And they repeat their words because they’re trying to get to the part that might get them in trouble, or the part that’s hard to talk about, or the part that’s a little bit shocking for them, or traumatizing for them.
So Yusuf (عليه السلام) sees this dream as a child, he comes to his dad, he’s nervous about this dream. The fact that he began with the ( إِنِّى), for those of you who know the Arabic language a little bit.
(إن حرف لإزالة الشك) It’s used to remove doubt. Like, he’s telling his dad a dream but he thinks even his dad might not believe him. It’s too incredible, too crazy of a thing that he saw that maybe my dad won’t even believe me.
So he says, “No, really I did see it, I saw eleven stars, the sun, and the moon.” And then he says, “(رَأَيْتُهُمْ).” Which is the strangest language. In English translation of this ayah, they say, “I saw them prostrating before me.
” Meaning, “I saw the stars, the sun, and the moon doing sajdah to me.” But the Arabic of it is very different. The word (رَأَيْتُهُمْ), the pronoun (هُمْ), which is translated “They” is not used for inanimate objects.
If it was for the stars and the moon, the two options in Arabic would have been, (رأيتهن لي ساجدات) or, (رأيتها لي ساجدة) The way he spoke suggest that he already knew that it’s not actually the stars, the sun and the moon, it’s actually people.
Because the wording he use is wording used in Arabic only for people. It’s, (لذوي العقول) (for people with brains). So when he said this to his father, they’re doing sajdah to me, they’re prostrating because of me, they’re falling on the ground? This was the part that he found so shocking.
And his father, when he responds to him realizes in the way that the son told him the dream, the way that he expressed himself, this kid is so smart. Not only did he see a special dream, he interpreted it all on his own in the way that he described it.
So the interpretation has already happened. Seeing a dream is not an accomplishment. But seeing a dream, and then having the intelligence, and the insight and the wisdom to figure out what it means. That’s a pretty amazing accomplishment.
Allah decides to highlight this one dialogue between Yusuf and his father of all the things He could’ve highlighted, He highlights this dialogue. Instead of what you would think is a major event is just a small conversation.
And in this conversation, Yusuf (عليه السلام) was just expressing a dream that he saw but his father validates him immediately. First of all he warns him. (QS Yusuf: 5) (َ لَا تَقْصُصْ رُءْيَاكَ عَلَىٰٓ إِخْوَتِكَ فَيَكِيدُوا۟ لَكَ كَيْدًا ۖ) “Don’t tell this dream that you saw of yours to your brothers.
” Yusuf (عليه السلام) already knows Ya’qub (عليه السلام) already knows, “This has something to do with your brothers. Don’t tell your brothers.” “I know they’re part of this dream, you already know that too.
” “Don’t talk about this to your brothers.” “They already have a jealousy problem. They’re gonna scheme something against you.” Now he’s a child, sometimes you say, “We shouldn’t have negative conversations in front of children.
We should shield them, protect them.” But sometimes it’s in their best interest to know who’s good for them and who is not good for them. Which uncle to stay away from, which brother to stay away from sometimes.
Not every family situation is ideal. And sometimes parents don’t want to hear, sometimes children come and say, “My brother did this or my sister did this, or this one did this or this.” And you say, “I don’t want to hear it, stop talking.
I don’t want to deal with anything.” You know, a friend of mine used to say back, he was from Algeria, they have joint family system. So they’ve got the guy that living there, his wife is living there, their kids are living there, his brothers living there, his wife and their kids.
There’s like 30 kids in the house, and there’s like four five different couples and they’re all fighting, all kinds of drama is happening all day in the house. But then the grandfather walks home and everybody’s happy all of a sudden.
All the problems are gone because the grandfather had a policy, “If anybody has any fight, I’m gonna line all of you up and slap all of you.” The fathers, the mothers, the children, everybody’s gonna get slapped.
The idea of being, sometimes we don’t want to hear it or we don’t want to deal with the conflict that actually exists. Sometimes there are members of our family that have a problem, that have an anger problem, that have a jealousy problem, that have a verbal abuse problem.
Sometimes they have physical abuse problem. Sometimes they have a scheming and lying problem. They have these, people have problems. And who knows family better than family? And so if you have to look out for someone, sometimes you even have to look out for your own sibling, it happens.
And this father has a sense to know, “Listen, you need to look out for your brothers.” “Don’t be naive, you are young, they’re older.” “But don’t talk about these kinds of things with them.” (QS Yusuf: 5) (لَا تَقْصُصْ رُءْيَاكَ عَلَىٰٓ إِخْوَتِكَ) “They might hurt you in some way, and it’s not their fault entirely.
” (QS Yusuf: 5) (إِنَّ ٱلشَّيْطَـٰنَ لِلْإِنسَـٰنِ عَدُوٌّۭ مُّبِينٌۭ) “The devil is a pretty big enemy, pretty open enemy for human beings.” The devil’s not just here between you and some stranger, the devil wants to destroy family relationships.
He wants to create animosity between brother and brother, brother and sister, father and son, mother and daughter, mother and son, ect. These family relationships is where the shaitaan is active. That’s what he wants to destroy first.
What’s the best way to destroy humanity? Destroy the unit that holds humanity together, the family. So Shaitaan is most active in the family. He’s most active between parents and kids. He’s most active between husband and wife or siblings.
That’s where he’s most active. This blood ties, or this sacred ties, that’s what he wants to destroy first. If these are destroyed, what’s left of humanity? Then it’s all gone. The protection that family brings is gone.
So he successful in his scheme. First thing that Yaqub tells his son is what to be careful about. And that’s again, something we learn about us and our children. We have to warn our kids about things they should be careful about.
And we should also be warning our kids about people in our own families sometimes that may be toxic. That’s important. It’s actually a sunnah of a Prophet now. It’s a sunnah so important, it was recorded in the Qur’an.
To let our kids know, sometimes not everybody in the family’s okay. And Ramadan happens, after Ramadan Ied happens and in Ied, all the family gets together, and some of the crazy uncles come too, and some of the wild cousins come too.
And everybody’s together and sometimes you got to let your kids know ahead of time, “Here’s the people you got to stay away from, here’s what you have to be careful about.” You have to warn them and educate them.
It’s the real world, you have to prepare them. So our kids are not naive and they don’t just in their naivety they trust anybody because anybody can harm them. And if this surah beginning teaches us anything is that families not necessarily a safe place.
Don’t be naive. That’s something even the Qur’an is telling us in very explicit terms.