Parenting is not a science instead it is an art. Parents do all sorts of things with all the good intentions for their children but without having the understanding of core concepts mistakes are bound to happen.
Here we will talk about 7 common mistakes that most parents do. First child worshipping. Some parents pretend that their child can do no wrong in the world like he is the centre of the universe and ignore his faults and tantrums, always finding something or someone to blame but not their child.
For some parents it is the way to show love for their child but that’s not loving that worshipping. Children are meant to be loved not worshiped. It does no good to the child. Instead it helps raise a self centred, narcissist and morally weak person with inflated egos.
Second: giving kids everything they want. It is very important as parent to setup boundaries for kids. They should know the difference between need want and achievement. Giving kids anything and everything they want, without having any set of rules develop a sense of entitlement in them.
Severe effects of entitlement can be seen in adult life. Having been given everything as a child, now they don’t feel they should work for anything now. They cannot take the disappointment of any kind.
They have no coping skills to deal with life, which can lead to stress and even depression. Third: Raising the child we want and not the child we have. All the parents harbour dreams for their children.
Most of them hope to father or mother and child who is basically a miniature replica of themselves. They start to plan a child’s career even before he takes his first breath in this world. According to research, parents take delight by achieving their unrealized dreams through their children.
But the problem arises when parents try to force a career on their children without giving importance to their children’s preferences and ignoring their knack and passion. As a parent, understanding the kids’ likes and dislikes will prevent a big mistake.
Number 4: comparing kids with others. Parents usually compare their children with others to motivate them and to Ignite the spirit of competition in them. They feel that this way, they can bring out hidden potential and capabilities in a child to enable him to excel over others.
Constantly comparing a child with others, undermining his performance and underestimating his capabilities can have a long lasting dent on their self esteem. It can cause deep emotional bruises, which are difficult to heal.
Comparing a child with others can have many negative consequences such as sibling rivalries, avoiding social interaction, stress, aggression and bruised self esteem. Number 5: telling kids what not to do.
Instead of telling kids what they are ought to do, parents usually tell them what they shouldn’t do. Many parents use negative sentences like, “do not run in supermarket”, “do not touch that glass”, “don’t harass your sister”.
These negative sentences don’t prompt compliance, rather it creates a sense of ambiguity where a kid is told what not to do but he is not sure what he should rather do. State clearly what you require from your child.
For instance, rather than saying “do not run in alley”, give precise instructions like, “walk slowly in the alley”.This prevents ambiguity and helps understand precisely what is expected of him.
Number 6 focusing on the child’s behaviour rather than root cause. When children behave undesirably or develop bad habits it might have bigger root causes. Parents tend to focus on behaviour and try to amend it rather than addressing root causes.
When a child is not paying attention to studies, or constantly bullying others, there are many factors at play. Try to get to the root cause. Have a conversation with your child and show them you are there to listen and readily available for support.
Number 7 reaching without practice. Children learn more from watching and observation then from lectures and pep talks. They tend to copy their parents no matter what they are told. If you want your kids to be kind and honest in situations when you are not with them, you need to be kind and honest when you are in front of them.
The way a parent handles adversity, the way he treats friends and strangers, kids notice these things. The way parents respond, gives them the permission to do the same. If you want your children to be wonderful, you need to aim to be wonderful too.
You need to be the person you want them to be. We will keep coming with more videos on parenting and Child Psychology, so don’t forget to subscribe. If you liked the video, press the like button, it will help others find this video.
Thanks for watching.