Human Impulses – Nouman Ali Khan What are some impulses that are unique to us, that we have that animals don’t have? For example the need to be heard. Sometimes you’re talking to somebody and you’re explaining yourself and they’re like, “Uhuh, Uhuh.
” You’re not hearing what I’m saying. You’re not listening to me. You’re dismissing what I’m saying. They can hear but not hear. And you can feel like I’m not being heard, I’m being dismissed, I’m being ignored.
The need to not be ignored is a human need. Cats don’t care. Birds don’t care. But human beings care when they feel like they’re not being heard. Like when you’re talking to somebody and they don’t even look up from their phone, you feel dismissed.
But a dog doesn’t mind. You have a problem with that. We have a need to belong. We have a need to feel like we’re accepted. We have a need to feel not judged. We have a need to not be reminded of our mistakes.
A need to feel safe, not just physically safe, emotionally safe. We have these different emotional needs inside of us that are met by the people around us or they’re supposed to be. Like a child is supposed to feel safest with their mother for example.
Spouses are supposed to feel safe with each other. Spouses are called clothing for each other. You know why they called clothing for each other? Because when you wear your clothes, nothing about you is hidden from your clothes.
Your clothes touch everything, your clothes know everything, they know all the secrets. Because there’s a part of them that faces outside but there’s a part of the faces inside. And so the clothes know the ugly, the clothes know the good, the clothes know everything, there’s nothing hidden.
And for a spouse to share everything with their spouse is a scary thing. Because you’re letting somebody in to your very inner self. And sometimes what happens when you share something and later on in an argument, they bring it up to shame you or to attack you.
You start questioning whether I should have opened up. Now these needs that I mentioned, the need to feel safe, the need to find a confidant, the need to have someone to talk to, the need to be heard, the need to feel loved, the need to feel protected, these are necessary needs, not just physical once, but emotional once.
When these needs are not met, When somebody says, “I don’t feel loved, I don’t feel like anybody cares at home about me, I don’t feel like I’m respected, I don’t feel dignified, I don’t feel understood, I feel constantly judged, I feel overlooked, I feel ignored.
” When you have these feelings, then just like when you don’t get food and you say, “I gotta eat.” When you don’t have rest, you gotta go to sleep, your body’s tired, you gotta go to sleep. When these needs are not met, human beings try to find something to fill in that gap, to feed that void.
And when we’re about to feed that void, then comes Allah’s light. Because Allah says, “You can feed that void, but here’s the way you should and here’s the way you shouldn’t.” Because whenever you say, “I don’t feel like anybody in my family listens to me, I need to find somebody to talk to.
” There’s a halal way to find somebody to talk to and there’s a very haram way to find somebody to talk to. There’s a dark road you can go. And Allah’s light will come inside you before you accept the message and before you right back or before you make a call.
And it’s going to say, “That’s not a right way to go, that’s not good.” And you say, “Arrrgghh! Don’t talk to me right now, I just need someone to talk to. I need an escape!” So what’s going to happen inside you is these feelings, these emotions that are very powerful because they’re explosive.
But Allah put that light inside us so we can protect ourselves from those explosions.